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A Bitter Reminder, Why You Need to Love and Live Your Life Right Now

  • Suomeksi
  • In English
It’s been more than four years since I moved back to Finland after a year in Spain.

For a full year, I was living a real dream. I had such fantastic people around me. I was working on a sunny terrace wearing shorts and a bikini top, getting tanned and bathing in natural vitamin D. Natural source of happiness. We spent lunch breaks by the pool, enjoyed ice-coffee with a hint of Baileys for dessert, and every so often, we stayed out and partied until the early morning, laughing hard.

A Bitter Reminder, Why You Need to Love and Live Your Life Right Now | Live now – dream later travel blog

Of course, a year in Spain also included some unpleasant events. Like the night when burglars broke in while three of us were sleeping in the apartment.  Or my painful hunt for an apartment that almost ended up in a murder house.

I couldn’t avoid some silly mishaps during that year, either. One on the top of my mind is the night I locked myself on the 4th-floor balcony without a way of getting out. Or in this case, back in.

For years I’ve been meaning to return to Spain to meet up with my ex-boss Brad and my ex-colleagues and friends in Spain. Last time we met in Poland in 2013 at my colleague’s wedding. It was only three weeks ago, when I almost bought flight tickets to Málaga for the end of May, but too tight of a schedule made me wait for the next flight offer.

A Bitter Reminder, Why You Need to Love and Live Your Life Right Now | Live now – dream later travel blog

This morning, I faced a regret that I’ve never experienced before for not buying a flight ticket. A painful reminder, why you shouldn’t push your plans for anything but absolutely compulsory reasons. A bitter reminder, why you should love and live your life right now.

This morning, I heard it’s too late.

This morning, I’ve lived my whole year in Spain as flashbacks over and over again. Starting from that Skype interview in autumn 2011. An interview that was such a disaster from the very beginning until the very end, and yet it led to the second interview in London. The interview that I travelled to for only one question: Is it true that Father Christmas is from Finland?

Only a few weeks later I moved to Spain and got to know so many fantastic people who have permanently left their marks on my life and moulded it towards the way of life I live today. In better and worse, the power of source that kept me going was my boss Brad, that incredible person with a funny hair and an enormous, warm heart.

The person, who truly got me ponder what I want to do with my life. The person, who taught me to drink coffee at the age of 28. The person, who I poured down a countless number of strawberry margaritas with and who always made people laugh with his jokes, stories and air-guitar performances.

A Bitter Reminder, Why You Need to Love and Live Your Life Right Now | Live now – dream later travel blog
A Bitter Reminder, Why You Need to Love and Live Your Life Right Now | Live now – dream later travel blog
A Bitter Reminder, Why You Need to Love and Live Your Life Right Now | Live now – dream later travel blog

Brad was the person who always stood by my side and who I could lean into whenever I felt homesick. When the burglars broke in. When I was about to move into a murder house. Brad took me under his roof when I didn’t have a place of my own. Brad made my long-lasting dream of living in Spain reality.

Only five days ago I received an email from Brad that was full of the same positivity he brought to my everyday life in Spain. “Don’t worry”, he said. “There will be more flight offers. We have nothing but time.”

In the same message, he told me so many exciting and happy news. My ex-colleague had given birth to her second baby only a few days earlier. Another one is finally going to marry his fiancée after years and years of waiting.

“I am sure that there will be plenty of other opportunities”, Brad continued the email until he ended it with words “Hasta pronto!”.

See you soon.

I replied him yesterday, a few days late.

A few days too late. This morning, I heard the shocking news that Brad is gone. Suddenly, unexpectedly, permanently.


Live now – dream later -matkablogi

This morning, I faced a regret that I’ve never experienced before for not buying a flight ticket. A painful reminder, why you shouldn’t push your plans for anything but absolutely compulsory reasons. A bitter reminder, why you should love and live your life right now.

This morning, I heard it’s too late.


A Bitter Reminder, Why You Need to Love and Live Your Life Right Now | Live now – dream later travel blog
A Bitter Reminder, Why You Need to Love and Live Your Life Right Now | Live now – dream later travel blog

Now, I’m sitting in front of my desk, whipping myself for not buying the flight tickets and flying over to Spain to see Brad and the others at the end of May. I know it’s vain, and I know I can’t help it anymore, but I literally wasted my very last chance.

It makes me angry. It makes me cry. It makes me frustrated, and it makes me feel guilty. It makes me bitter.

Now, what I have left, is a million golden memories and a memory card full of photos of the most amazing year of my life that I got to spend with the most amazing people.

And a bitter reminder, why you need to live your life right now. Why you shouldn’t waste your days for routines and acts that don’t matter. Such routines and acts that don’t give you any pleasure. Things that only make you tired without bringing any joy in your life.

Instead, you need to make your dreams come true now when you still have a chance. You need to buy those flight tickets and travel to Spain to meet your friends. You need to take the trip you’ve always wanted, but for some reason haven’t yet done it.

Because one day, out of a sudden, it might be too late.

Live now – dream later, because one day there might not be later.

Brad brought love, laughter and goodness into so many people’s lives. I’m feeling nothing but honoured having been one of those people. I wouldn’t be the person I am today without Brad. I wouldn’t be where I am today without Brad. I know it 100 percent sure. Of course, we had our disagreements, but that’s all in the past. That’s part of life.

Today, after the awful news I heard this morning, I can only think of the happy moments we got to spend together. Today, I can’t describe enough how sad and melancholic I feel, how incredibly thankful I am for Brad and how deeply I will miss him for the rest of my days.

Have a good, last journey, Brad. You made my journey towards my dreams possible, and that is something I will never forget.


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Saana

The girl behind the blog is a Finnish travel and outdoor enthusiastic with a huge passion for writing and fulfilling dreams. When I'm not abroad, I'm showing you the best of beautiful Finland. My heart lies in the archipelago of Satakunta and Rauma area in the South-West of Finland.

This Post Has 2 Comments
    1. Thank you, Victoria, your comment means the world to me! <3
      I guess it's just a human thing to do, to push plans forward because we think we have all the time in the world. Until the world sends you a cruel reminder that we really don't. I don't often write posts this personal, and I didn't publish this one to depress anyone but to wake people up. We really should live the life we have dreamed of, and we should make it happen right now as we never know when it will be too late. Have a great weekend Victoria!

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